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Where will we be next september?

9/30/2016

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I am sitting here watching my beautiful grandson sleeping, thinking of the children no longer with us. The true warriors, our children who never had a chance to grow up, our teens who never experienced dating, and our young adults that will never experience the joy of being a parent.  

Yes, it is once again September 30, and a lot has not changed in the past 8 years. Our children are still getting cancer, long term effects of chemo are so uncertain, long term life expectancy is low, and, yes, our children are still dying.

September is a time for us to reflect on the families that have traveled this journey. The survivors with uncertain futures, my friends who lost their children to this horrible disease, their children who lost their brothers and sisters to cancer, the grandparents who hurt for the ones not here.  

I know that my son would have been an awesome uncle to Cal. I won’t lie it makes me very sad when I think that Cal will not get to “be silly” with his uncle. He will not get to enjoy watching Manchester United soccer games, he won’t get to learn all of his uncle’s “sweet” soccer moves, or the opportunity to just sit and talk with his favorite uncle.

Where will we be next September? How many of your friends and family will join “the club”? We don’t like this club, in fact we hate being part of this club, but the seasoned members are here to help the new members on their journey, a journey they never thought they would be on. We never thought that childhood cancer would be part of our journey - now it is weaved into us-it is part of who we are.


With Hope We Continue To Smile,
Jeanine Aubuchon
President and Founder of CJ's Journey
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A Look inside...

9/18/2016

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The thing about Childhood Cancer is that for those of us who have been impacted it isn on our minds year round. It doesn't just come up for us in September, although that is definietly a difficult month. 

For the blog today I wanted to share with you a excerpt from my journal. This is what it is like to lose a child to cancer every single day.
10/17/2011 An Excerpt from Jeanine's Journal
Justin was cleaning the gutters today and I thought of you.  I could see you on the roof-sometimes it is good to have these visions.

I had some “sad” moments today as I read Lane and Jake's Caringbridge.  I also received a message from Michelle B.  The chemo is not working-she is afraid of dying.  She wanted to know how you were “so brave”.  She asked me if I had any advice.  How can I give advice?  I have never been told that I was dying.

I told her that you had your moments and that at one point you lost faith.  Do you remember talking to Chaplain, Michelle two weeks before you left us? I remember seeing her sitting on the floor in your room next to you.  You talked for two hours.  You felt better-it provided enough support for you to finish your journey.

Son, how did you keep going knowing that you were dying?  How scary that must have been for you-never did you let us see your fear.  How did you deal with knowing this-how does an 18 year old young man face his death?  This is the first time that I have thought about this.

CJ, I am so sorry-so very sorry that I could not prevent this from happening-I could not change the outcome.  I am sorry that you had to go through-cancer, chemo, radiation-then to know after all of that you were still dying.  Yes, Dying….  I, your mother, who would protect you from anything-could not alter your journey.

CJ you were so brave-for us.  I love you my sweet boy

Please remember all the parents, siblings, grandparents and extended family during this month. Childhood cancer should not happen to any family and I am on a personal mission to do everything I can to prevent it.

Your donations during the month of September go directly to the CJ's Journey Sarcoma Research Fund with Siteman Cancer Center. Even $5 can make a difference in the lives of so many people.

Thank you for continuing to support our mission.

With hope we continue to smile, 
Jeanine Aubuchon
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    CJ's Journey

    Welcome to our September Blog! Our founder and President, Jeanine, shares what's happening with CJ's Journey during Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

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