The thing about Childhood Cancer is that for those of us who have been impacted it isn on our minds year round. It doesn't just come up for us in September, although that is definietly a difficult month.
For the blog today I wanted to share with you a excerpt from my journal. This is what it is like to lose a child to cancer every single day.
For the blog today I wanted to share with you a excerpt from my journal. This is what it is like to lose a child to cancer every single day.
10/17/2011 An Excerpt from Jeanine's Journal
Justin was cleaning the gutters today and I thought of you. I could see you on the roof-sometimes it is good to have these visions.
I had some “sad” moments today as I read Lane and Jake's Caringbridge. I also received a message from Michelle B. The chemo is not working-she is afraid of dying. She wanted to know how you were “so brave”. She asked me if I had any advice. How can I give advice? I have never been told that I was dying.
I told her that you had your moments and that at one point you lost faith. Do you remember talking to Chaplain, Michelle two weeks before you left us? I remember seeing her sitting on the floor in your room next to you. You talked for two hours. You felt better-it provided enough support for you to finish your journey.
Son, how did you keep going knowing that you were dying? How scary that must have been for you-never did you let us see your fear. How did you deal with knowing this-how does an 18 year old young man face his death? This is the first time that I have thought about this.
CJ, I am so sorry-so very sorry that I could not prevent this from happening-I could not change the outcome. I am sorry that you had to go through-cancer, chemo, radiation-then to know after all of that you were still dying. Yes, Dying…. I, your mother, who would protect you from anything-could not alter your journey.
CJ you were so brave-for us. I love you my sweet boy
Please remember all the parents, siblings, grandparents and extended family during this month. Childhood cancer should not happen to any family and I am on a personal mission to do everything I can to prevent it.
Your donations during the month of September go directly to the CJ's Journey Sarcoma Research Fund with Siteman Cancer Center. Even $5 can make a difference in the lives of so many people.
Thank you for continuing to support our mission.
With hope we continue to smile,
Jeanine Aubuchon
Your donations during the month of September go directly to the CJ's Journey Sarcoma Research Fund with Siteman Cancer Center. Even $5 can make a difference in the lives of so many people.
Thank you for continuing to support our mission.
With hope we continue to smile,
Jeanine Aubuchon
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